I Do Not Hook Up
by Skates16
Summary: Glee Club doesn't work so well if the girls are mad at the guys, so Will comes up with an idea: singing competition. Of course the guys come up with a little wager, should they win... Part 1, Finn/Rachel, Quinn/Puck, Tina/Artie


_This is actually a two part one-shot, but they're going to be posted as two separate one-shots and not as a two-shot. If that makes sense. Anyways, this idea came listening to a song and I was like, 'Wouldn't it be great if the guys in Glee sang it?' So then I thought of this plot line, but then I had to go and find a song for the girls to sing. Ha ha. I know I should probably be working on my multi-chapter fic instead, but I couldn't resist! The guy's one should be up tomorrow if you're lucky... :)_

**I Do Not Hook Up**

Glee practice was turning into absolute hell for everyone involved. Mr. Schuester didn't understand why no one was getting along anymore, they'd won sectionals and now had regionals to worry about, but the girls were refusing to participate with the boys. The boys seemed like they could care less if the girls were interested in them.

Will had to stop practice when a cat fight almost happened between Rachel and Kurt.

"Alright, what is wrong with everyone?" Will asked the group. The girls stood to the one side, glaring at the guys while they were avoiding looking at the girls and Mr. Schue. Quinn seemed like the only girl not angry, just really upset.

"If I may Mr. Schue." Rachel said, tearing her glare from Finn and looking at their teacher. Mr. Schue nodded and waited for Rachel's explanation. "To put it frank, we do not appreciate the way some of the guys have been treating us lately, including Quinn."

Now Will understood, before sectionals had happened everyone found out Quinn wasn't pregnant with Finn's baby, but Puck's. At first Finn was mad at everyone and wouldn't talk, but soon he warmed up to his fellow Glee members. Of course he was still mad at Quinn and Puck, Puck more so than Quinn, but now he'd accidentally gotten onto the girl's bad side by ditching Quinn in her hour of need.

Puck had angered the girls by not helping Quinn out when she needed him. Ok, that was a lie, after he'd taken a punch from Finn he went to her and for a few days it seemed like things were looking up, but then he went back to his old ways, earning a slap from Quinn, Rachel, Mercedes and Tina. Surprisingly this whole situation seemed to bring the girls closer and Rachel honestly felt sorry for Quinn as she comforted her. Sure she was mad at Quinn for lying to Finn in the first place, but she was scared and honestly if she was pregnant with someone else's baby and Finn was her boyfriend, she would have lied too...

But we don't need to look into Rachel's fantasy world.

Because the four girls, including Santana and Brittney later, had become closer than before they shared their boy problems with one another and soon the Glee club had split in two. Tina had told them about the incident with Artie that had happened about a month ago and even though the girls were shocked about Tina's lie and Artie ditching her, they gave Artie the cold shoulder. Mercedes didn't do much complaining on Kurt, so he was a lucky one who didn't get the cold shoulder from the girls. In a way he actually preferred it this way and acted indifferent, but the rest of the guys were in trouble too somehow.

"Ok then, but can't you handle this out of the classroom?" Will asked. "And don't you think you're being a bit childish?"

"Thank you!" The guys said and the girls then glared at Will.

"Are you taking their side?" Rachel asked. Will held his hands up in surrender.

"No, I'm not taking any sides here." He said. "But how about we settle this matter then? We have another battle, the girls sing a song and then the guys? Whoever does it better is the winner and the losing group has to do something for the winning group. But something appropriate." Will looked at both groups. Rachel nodded in agreement as did Finn. "Good, girls start Monday. Guys on Tuesday."

_xXxXx_

"This, ladies, is the day we show the boys we mean business." Rachel said later, during the girl's practice time. "We shall pick a song that will show the boys that we don't need them!"

"Like 'I Don't Need A Man'?" Mercedes said.

"No, I don't think the Pussycat Dolls will go with what I'm aiming for." Rachel said. "Any other suggestions?"

Looking at the others, Rachel only received blank stares from the girls. Sighing, she got her iPod out and started scrolling through her song selections. The rest of them followed her lead, shouting out song titles.

"'No Sleep Tonight'?" Santana called out.

"'Untouched'?" Quinn suggested.

"'7 Things'?" Brittney suggested. Everyone stopped what they were doing and looked at her. "What?"

"No." Rachel said.

"'I Do Not Hook Up' by Kelly Clarkson." Tina suggested. The room was silent as they all thought about it. When no one protested, Rachel nodded.

"That's our song. Now, time to practice, shall we?"

_xXxXx_

"This is why I hate girl power." Puck said as he walked down the hallway, the rest of the glee guys with him.

"For once I actually don't care if we win or lose this." Kurt said.

"Do you WANT to be their slaves?" Puck asked.

"They wouldn't do anything bad to me, none of them are mad at me. Seems like it's mainly you three." Kurt looked at Finn, Puck and Artie. "Though I don't know why they're mad at you."

"Yeah, do you know why the girls could be pissed at you?" Finn asked Artie. Artie smiled sheepishly, having an inkling of an idea of what could possibly be what the girls were mad at, but didn't want to give this information out to the guys.

"Uhm, no, no idea." He said instead and wheeled in front of them.

"Weird." Puck said. Finn shot a look at Puck and then went down a different corridor. Puck saw this and followed him, the rest of the group continuing on the way they originally intended. "Finn, we have to talk about this sometime."

"Whats to talk about? You slept with my girlfriend." Finn said through clenched teeth.

"And I told you, I'm sorry about that. It just... happened. I was drunk, she was drunk and lonely. You were away man and honestly if I could go back change that night I would." _Ok, not really but he doesn't need to know that_, Puck thought.

"You getting soft?" Finn said. Puck paused, unsure. Finn sighed. "Ok, maybe finding out the baby isn't mine is good for me, otherwise I would have been with Quinn the rest of my life and... I wouldn't know what it was like to be with someone else."

"Are you getting soft?" Puck asked and smiled at his friend. "Look, I don't expect you to forgive me about what happened, but I like Quinn. A lot I guess and I'll be a good dad. I just have to stop with the girls, which is why they're pissed at me."

"Yeah, I think it will take a while to get over the fact that you're the real father." Finn admitted and then thought of Rachel. He was free to see how he really felt about her, because he wasn't too sure what it was that kept drawing him closer to her. Now that he didn't have to worry about a pregnant girlfriend he could pursue that... later, when she isn't mad at him for something. "And we have to do something about the girls, because this can't go on."

Puck put his arm around Finn as they went back to join the other guys. "That is why, Finn, we have to win this contest and not the girls."

_xXxXx_

Friday afternoon and school was out, the girl's practice had ended as had the boy's football practice. Artie and Kurt had been hanging around the school waiting for the guys to come off the field so they could talk strategy when the girls arrived.

"Hope you guys enjoy that while it lasts." Rachel said.

"Enjoy what?" Finn asked, confused.

"Freedom, because we're going to show you all that girls are in fact better than boys."

"Ooh, you wanna bet?" Puck put in, looking at Quinn who looked away from him.

"Ok, maybe a little wager then. Since Mr. Schue said the losers have to do something for the winners, then let's come up with what each team wants." Mercedes said.

"If we win." Rachel said. "Then you boys will be our servants for the rest of the week. Carrying our bags, getting our books from our locker, getting our lunch. Got it?"

"Fine." Finn said. "And if we win, then-"

"We get a kiss." Puck interrupted.

"What?" Quinn said, looking at Puck. He just winked at her and she narrowed her eyes at him.

"What I said. Rachel gets to kiss Finn, I get Quinn, Tina and Artie, Mercedes and... Matt-"

"I'd rather kiss Kurt." Mercedes put in and then gave Kurt a 'I'm-Sorry' look.

"Well, you get the idea." Puck finished. "Deal?"

Rachel looked at the girls. They all shrugged, so she turned back to the guys. "Deal."

"Right, prepare to lose." Puck said and then pushed Artie's wheelchair away, signaling the guys to follow. Finn looked at Rachel and gave her a small smile before leaving. Even though she was supposed to be mad at him, she couldn't help but smile back.

"No fraternizing with the enemy." Mercedes said, grabbing Rachel by the arm as she walked by. Tina watched the guys walking away and she could have sworn she saw Artie look back at her, but she couldn't really tell. Sighing she followed the girls, none of whom were looking forward to the weekend. Rachel had a rehearsal schedule up already which involved them getting up very early in the morning.

_xXxXx_

Monday had come, along with the girls big performance. There had been little to no communication with the boys over the weekend as they had also been practicing for their own performance they would be giving the next day. Mr. Schue was there along with Ms. Pillsbury, their other judge for today. The girls all stood on stage in their costumes. They hadn't gone too fancy or anything with this number, they were all wearing jeans, sneakers and any shirt they had, so long as it was colourful.

"Any words Rachel?" Mr. Schue asked as he saw the girl walk to the front of the stage, as she usually did.

"No, not really." She said, sending a look at Finn.

"Ok, you can start then." He said. Rachel looked at the band and nodded as she joined the line up. The music started playing and soon Rachel started singing.

"_Oh, sweetheart, put the bottle down  
You've got too much talent  
I see you through those bloodshot eyes  
There's a cure, you've found it  
Slow motion, sparks, you've caught that chill  
Now don't deny it  
But boys will be boys, oh, yes, they will  
They don't wanna define it  
Just give up the game and get into me  
If you're looking for thrills then get cold feet_." Rachel sang as the rest of group did their dancing. As she sang this part, she was looking at Finn most of them time. At the last line she ran back to join the group as they went into the chorus.

"_Oh, no, I do not hook up, up, I go slow  
So if you want me, I don't come cheap  
Keep your hand in my hand, your heart on your sleeve  
Oh, no, I do not hook up, up, I fall deep  
'Cause the more that you try the harder I'll fight  
To say goodnight_." The whole group sang. At the end Quinn broke away from them and made her way to the front as she sang her solo part for this song.

"_I can't cook, no, but I can clean  
Up the mess she left  
Lay your head down and feel the beat  
As I kiss your forehead  
This may not last but this is now  
So love the one you're with  
You wanna chase but you're chasin' your tail  
A quick fix won't ever get you well_." Quinn, like Rachel, sang this part to a guy in the crowd, particularly Puck. However no one seemed to notice this as it was not just Rachel singing this song, but Puck got the message that Quinn was trying to tell him and he smiled back at her as the rest of the group came forwards again for the chorus.

"_Oh, no, I do not hook up, up, I go slow  
So if you want me, I don't come cheap  
Keep your hand in my hand, your heart on your sleeve  
Oh, no, I do not hook up, up, I fall deep  
'Cause the more that you try the harder I'll fight  
To say..._" The guys could tell the girls were really having fun with this song as they sang and danced around, sometimes signaling them out by pointing to them. Finn couldn't help but laugh at some points, but he was really enjoying this. Towards the end of the chorus, all the girls but Tina went back onto the stage.

"'_Cause I feel  
The distance  
Between us  
Could be over  
With the snap of your finger, Oh, no!_" Tina sang. She was standing in front of Artie now and all the guys looked at him. Artie was trying to sink lower into his wheelchair, avoiding their looks.

"_Oh, no, I do not hook up, up, I go slow  
So if you want me, I don't come cheap  
Keep your hand in my hand, your heart on your sleeve  
Oh, no, I do not hook up, up, I fall deep  
'Cause the more that you try the harder I'll fight  
To say...  
'Cause the more that you try the harder I'll fight  
To say goodnight._" The group sang and then sat down on the stage, leaving Rachel standing to finish off the song.

"_Oh, sweetheart, put the bottle down  
'Cause you don't wanna miss out._" She sang. Will and Emma started clapping as did the boys. The girls all stood up and bowed, grins on their faces. They then all hugged one another before turning to Will who wanted to address them.

"That was amazing! I think the boys have some tough competition." He said before leaving the room. The girls grinned triumphantly at the boys as they left the room, leaving the guys to discuss some things.

After a moment of silence, Puck spoke. "I think we're screwed."

* * *

**Edit: Part 2 is up as a separate one-shot titled 'Everything'**


End file.
